Acaia & Brennan
My name is Acaia Mayfield, I am 27 years old and have been married to my best friend Brennan (29) for almost seven years. We started dating right after I graduated high school. The year I graduated college we got married. Once Brennan graduated college a year later, we decided it was time to start our family.
Growing up I always imagined myself as a stay at home mom. I am one of ten kids. Yes, I said that correctly. I have six brothers and three sisters, all from the same parents. The idea of infertility never even crossed my mind. I was under the impression that you have sex and poof, you get pregnant. Easy as that! It wasn’t until a year after “trying” that we started to think there may be something wrong. Everyone around us was getting pregnant.
Maybe we weren’t doing it right? And everyone seemed to have an opinion on why…
“You are too stressed.”
“It’s not God’s timing.”
“You need to try harder.”
“You need to stop trying.”
After many tests, the doctors said we had “unexplained infertility”. Basically, they had no idea if there was anything wrong and told us to keep trying. With that in mind, we tried for an additional 3 years.
I never imagined the amount of pain that I would feel as a women, not being able to start a family.
Luckily, my husband remained my biggest support! A lot of people have asked me if infertility has been hard on our marriage. While it has been hard in general, it’s made our marriage and our friendship stronger. Together we have leaned on one another and pushed through the darkest times.
Last year was probably the hardest for both of us. We decided to see an infertility specialist, and he suggested I might have endometriosis. The only way to know for sure was exploratory surgery. We were going to start infertility treatments, but if I had endometriosis it would rule out certain options. I went in for surgery and I did have endometriosis. AND…they were able to remove it!!! We finally had hope after 5 years of trying. Instead of having “unexplained” infertility, it was explained and solved. Temporarily… You see, endometriosis almost always comes back. We were told the next six months would be our best shot at pregnancy.
Six months later we scheduled another meeting with our infertility doctor. He looked at my medical records and indicated that there was more going on than endometriosis and that I would probably NEVER get pregnant naturally. There it was… the news we had been hoping to avoid as long as possible.
What if we could never get pregnant?
What were the other options?
As strong Christians our faith has kept us sane through everything. We know God has a family in mind for us. We believe his timing is perfect. We have faith that he will answer our prayers for a child. After much prayer and consideration we decided to pursue foster care and adoption.
Honestly, we had always talked about adoption as an option. God has blessed us with so much, and if there was ever a situation where someone wanted to entrust their child with us, we would have said yes.
Now it appears that adoption may be our only option. I don’t say that with any negativity. I am actually really excited to adopt.
Its just been hard figuring out the best path. Starting with finding a woman considering an adoption plan for her child. Learning about the differences in open and closed adoptions. Preparing for the costs., etc.
We actually met a woman with a three-month-old baby girl. After meeting with her for coffee and talking everything through she agreed to let us adopt the little girl. She sent us pictures. We shared the excitement with our friends and families… all to find out that it was a complete scam. I am sure you can imagine our frustration and pain.
After almost six years of infertility, we are NOT giving up! We have a nursery set up with a sign above our crib that reads, “For this child I have prayed, and the Lord has granted the desires of my heart” 1 Samuel 1:27. My husband and I frequently sit in our nursery and pray for the child God has planned for our family. We pray for the birth mother and father. We pray that any child that comes into our home would know how deeply loved and wanted they are!
Why Acaia likes PairTree:
What’s cool about this site is we all have a lot in common. Half of us are hoping to grow our family through adoption. The other half are hoping to find a family they can trust to love and care for their child. One thing I have learned through this whole journey is that both groups are incredibly brave! Both groups are an answer to prayer. Both groups are meeting a real need.