Alain & Mike: an adoption journey in memory of Mike’s sister

Our Background

We have been together for six years. We love traveling and going on adventures on our days off together. We always say “How fun would it be if we had our own kid? They would behaving such a blast with us here in _______” (wherever we are!) when we go places. The more we talked about it the more we realized how badly we want to be dads! After thoughtful consideration we feel adoption is the right choice for us.  Many of our close friends have babies and young children, and we feel it is a great time for us to start our family. We are both young and have great careers, which will help us provide stability for our children. 

Our Fears Around Adoption

There is a lot of uncertainty around adoption for hopeful adoptive parents. Unlike a traditional pregnancy, or a surrogacy, where you have more of an idea about how things will go, adoption is filled with uncertainty. This brings about some anxiety and fears that things will not go the way we like. Especially seeing so many other wonderful families out there hoping to adopt, it causes one to wonder how the process will work for us. 

We have encountered several adoption scammers on other self-matching sites throughout this process.  It is a very emotional process and it has been difficult to be faced with individuals who attempted to scam us. We know that is few and far between but has been part of our experience so far.

We discussed surrogacy. Michael’s sister, Tory, passed away unexpectedly at the age of 25 from an undiagnosed heart condition. She was so excited to be an aunt and was very supportive of us on this journey. Not having her here has been very difficult, but we both know she was so excited for us and encouraged us despite our hesitation.  Tory was an avid artist, and in fact was a children’s graphic design illustrator. We still have her website up where her work can be enjoyed. We know she is sending us positive energy from above and that her love will guide us on this journey.  Tory even had her art on baby leggings which are sold by a woman who owns a children’s clothing company! We already stocked up and can’t wait to see our son or daughter crawling around in those leggings! It is beautiful thing to see Tory’s art is still sparking joy around the world. 

Our Hopes for the Future

We hope to find a mother who can envision her child in our family.  We hope for an open adoption, where she plans to be part of the child’s life , but are open to different situations.  We have friends who adopted and have an open adoption. They meet the birth mom and her partner yearly at Disneyland. We would love to have that kind of relationship, but we know that might be a stretch. We would love to meet someone who falls in love with us so to speak as parents. We aren’t religious but we deeply value the importance of the golden rule- treating others with care and respect. We will raise our child right , and he or she will be exposed to so much culture, enriching activities, and love. There are so many wonderful couples and singles out there looking to adopt. We want our child’s mother to get to know us and be part of this journey with us.  We know our child will have a happy, loving, fulfilling life. We have an amazing family and group of friends who are right by our side as we go through this journey.

To learn more about Alain and Michael, be sure to visit their website.

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