Bonita & Tony’s Adoption Journey

Adoption is a journey. In these features, we give hopeful adoptive families the space to share what they’ve learned, what they’ve struggled with, and what keeps them going. We’re so happy to introduce you to Bonita & Tony.

Tell us about yourself and how you made your way to PairTree?

We both felt like God was calling us to adopt and as soon as we were married we started reaching out to dozens of agencies. Many of them were closed due to COVID or had extra long waiting periods. We joined Pair Tree as a way to connect with the birth mom directly and liked the lightheartedness of the pictures and fun questions.

What has surprised you about this process – good and/or bad?

I was surprised by the layout of Pair Tree – it feels almost like a dating app! But, I really like how quickly a birth mom can choose to initiate a conversation and talk about whatever is on her heart.

What do you think is misunderstood about adoption?

I think that the genuine excitement and bliss of the adoptive parents for a specific adoptive baby is sometimes misunderstood. I think that sometimes people think that adoptive parents are adopting as a sort of back up plan because they can’t have biological children. For us, that couldn’t be further from the truth. For years, I have equally dreamed, prayed, and planned for all of our children whether they join our family through adoption or biological birth. We will be delighted with an adopted child as our oldest, middle or youngest child – whenever (s)he can join our family, we want her/him!

Who are your biggest supporters? Who can you always turn to?

Bonita: My sister. It’s almost like she can read my mind and knows exactly what I’m feeling. We talk about everything together and she is always there on the good days and the tough ones.

Tony: My brother. He is always there for me, supporting me in the little and big parts of life. He always knows how to bring a smile to my face and brighten any day.

Do you have a favorite quote or mantra?

“It’s not about how much you do, but how much love you put into what you do that counts.” Mother Teresa

How often do you cry? (Seriously…)

Depends on the week. Sometimes a few tears let out the stress and make it easier to move on to happy times.

What you are most proud of – so far – in this process?

We have prayed for our baby and our birth mom for years. It makes me so happy that we have been able to send our love to the both of them in this way.

What scares you the most about this process — and why?

The thought that one of us doesn’t feel the other’s love. We want you to know just how much we love and are grateful for your baby and YOU. We want the baby to grow up loving and respecting you and us. And, we know that you already love your baby, but we want to earn your love and trust as well.

If you had a magic wand, what would you like to change most about this process?

The limited view of the adoption profiles. I would love to be able to meet a birth mom for coffee and simply have a real conversation with her, sharing my life with her and sharing in hers.

Click here to learn more about Bonita & Tony. They’d love to hear from you!

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