Jennifer & Matthew’s Adoption Journey
Adoption is a journey. In these features, we give hopeful adoptive families the space to share what they’ve learned, what they’ve struggled with, and what keeps them going. We’re so happy to introduce you to Jennifer & Matthew.
Tell us about yourself and how you made your way to PairTree?
Hello! We are Jennifer and Matthew. We live in coastal North Carolina near lots of supportive family and friends! We want to be parents more than anything, and believe we have lots of love to give a little one. Jennifer works for North Carolina public schools as a preschool special education teacher for children who have disabilities and developmental delays. Matthew works for Coca-Cola as a merchandiser. We live in a newer construction 3 bedroom house with a large playroom over the garage. Our neighborhood is very safe, and family oriented. We have a community pool just a short walk down the street. One thing we especially like about our home is its proximity to family. Jennifer’s sister, brother-in-law, and 3 year old nephew live less than a five minute drive away. Jennifer’s parents are nearby as well, and live only a little over an hour away. Our work schedule is ideal for a family. Matthew is off on Sunday and Monday, so he will be able to spend lots of one on one time with our child. As a teacher, Jennifer is home fairly early in the afternoon, and has long holiday breaks to enjoy! Jennifer can’t wait to spend her summers off with our child, swimming in the pool, playing together and visiting grandparents! When our child starts kindergarten, they will be able to go to school with their mom (It is the most welcoming, caring, and supportive school I’ve ever been in!) We have two sweet and friendly dogs, Lilly, and Toby. Both dogs are well behaved and great around our nephew, Connor. We are home study approved, and willing to travel. We have a cute safari themed nursery already in the making! We have been working with LifeLong Adoptions, and discovered PairTree on our own when we decided to explore some ways to boost our profile views. We hope you are getting lots of support from loved ones during this time, and we wish you peace whatever decision you may make. We would love the opportunity to speak with you further, and answer any additional questions you might have!
What has surprised you about this process – good and/or bad?
What surprised us most about the adoption process is the amount of unknowns and waiting that is involved. It can be challenging to not know where your expectant mother might be, when you might find an expectant mother who is a good match, when the baby might be born, etc. When you want to become parents as badly as we do, it can be hard not to constantly check to see how many views your profile has gotten, or if you have any new messages in your inbox. Adoption has taught us so much about being patient, and having faith that it will all work out.
What do you think is misunderstood about adoption?
We think what is most misunderstood about adoption is the complexity of it all. Some people believe adoption is a simple process where you sign up with an agency and are easily matched with an expectant mom. We have completed many steps to get to this point. An interview with our adoption agency, a home study with medical questionnaires, questions about our own childhood, how we plan to raise our child, and a visit to our home. We have typed answers to many questions, and uploaded lots and lots of pictures to give expectant parents a snapshot of our lives. We had no idea how many photos we would need to take as we wait to be matched with an expectant parent. We are thinking of it as good practice because we are sure we will want to take thousands of baby pictures one day soon!
Who are your biggest supporters? Who can you always turn to?
We are so blessed to have lots of supporters. We are very close with Jennifer’s sister and her husband. They live nearby, so we can always turn to each other for help or support. Jennifer’s parents are also a great support. Their grandson calls them Gigi and 2-Pop, they are always ready to have fun, and spend time with their grandchildren. Matt’s mom lives in Ohio, but we talk to her several times a week. She is extremely loving and so excited to welcome another grandchild. Jennifer has a few aunts and uncles nearby. We love spending birthdays and holidays together. We both have supportive co-workers, friends, and neighbors who are always ready to help each other in times of need!
Do you have a favorite quote or mantra?
“All that we love deeply becomes a part of us.” -Helen Keller
How often do you cry? (Seriously…)
I cry when the adoption process feels overwhelming, and the wait to be a mother seems far too long.
What you are most proud of – so far – in this process?
We are proud that we have bought our own home, completed a home study, and created a beautiful nursery for our child. We love each other deeply, and are proud that we have done/will do whatever it takes to make our dream of adoption a reality.
What scares you the most about this process — and why?
The unknown is so scary. Not knowing where, or when we will find a successful match with an expectant mother. Jennifer likes to know what is happening, and plan ahead, so the wait is scary and challenging!
If you had a magic wand, what would you like to change most about this process?
If we had a magic wand, we would somehow make ourselves stand out from the crowd. There are so many wonderful, hopeful adoptive parents, but sometimes it feels easy to get lost in the crowd. We believe we will be good parents, we have so much love to give. We truly hope we can communicate our commitment to being the best parents we can possibly be!
Click here to learn more about Jennifer & Matthew. They’d love to hear from you!
