Shari & Matt’s Adoption Journey
Adoption is a journey. In these features, we give hopeful adoptive families the space to share what they’ve learned, what they’ve struggled with, and what keeps them going. We’re so happy to introduce you to Shari & Matt.
Tell us about yourself and how you made your way to PairTree?
Matt & I have been married for 17 years and have 3 kids, Julia (15), Ryan(13), & Arabella(9). We are musicians and artists, so we live creatively! We live near the mountains and enjoy taking day trips to go exploring, fishing, hiking, or seeing new things! We love to travel and do travel fairly often.
We have always wanted a larger family! We LOVE kids and love all the different stages our kids have gone through. Adoption has been something we have talked about for years, even before we knew we couldn’t have more kids biologically. We have many family members, on both sides, that have adopted and have been adopted. We have been pursuing adoption for the last year and through our amazing adoption agency, Quiver Full letting us know about PairTree, we made our way to this awesome matching site!
What has surprised you about this process – good and/or bad?
The amount of paperwork and how difficult the waiting can be. Starting the adoption process, we understood what open adoption was and are pursuing that route, but it’s been amazing to see and hear stories of how much more beautiful it can be! That’s been really awesome!
What do you think is misunderstood about adoption?
I think people think that adoption is typically closed, and years ago, that was more of a true statement. But these days, the reality is that adoption can be an open relationship between the birth parents and adoptive parents. A relationship with the child and birth parents can happen and be really beautiful. It doesn’t mean it’s easy, it can be hard and especially through different seasons for both the birth parents and adoptive parents, but it can be a beautiful relationship for all involved through the different seasons of life.
Who are your biggest supporters? Who can you always turn to?
Our parents. Our parents and family will always be there for us no matter what. They are all very supportive of us and we know that we can turn to them for anything that happens in life.
Do you have a favorite quote or mantra?
“Live creatively, friends…” – Galatians 6:1 (the Message version)
How often do you cry? (Seriously…)
We are both emotionally healthy, so we understand the importance of crying. It would be hard to put a number on that but I would say maybe once or twice a month. Also, not all tears are because of sadness. Anytime tears need to happen, they happen!
What you are most proud of – so far – in this process?
We are proud of the agency we’re working with because of how ethical they are, how well they advocate for the expectant Mommas, and how they offer lifetime support for them. Also, how amazing our kids have been through this part of the journey! They are amazing and continue to amaze us.
What scares you the most about this process — and why?
What scares us most would be that a match would fall through. Getting our hearts invested and it not happening for whatever reason. But, we also know that even when hard things happen, something beautiful can come out of it.
If you had a magic wand, what would you like to change most about this process?
The waiting. The whole process of the home study, paperwork, and waiting to be matched has been really long. And not knowing when it’s all going to happen, makes it really difficult to wait.
Click here to learn more about Shari & Matt. They’d love to hear from you!